


WHEN STRANDED AT THE SEA (I'VE GOT YOUR BACK)

by AgnesClementine



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:53:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22735939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgnesClementine/pseuds/AgnesClementine
Summary: Eddie’s stupidly inept at saying what’s bothering him, or showing it, and sometimes…he forgets that Buck is not like that.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 10
Kudos: 298





	WHEN STRANDED AT THE SEA (I'VE GOT YOUR BACK)

**Author's Note:**

> A total impulse piece that gave me feelings before noon. XD
> 
> Let me know what you think and enjoy! :)

The word that Buck’s return to the station is postponed spreads like wildfire. It’s understandable, with the scare they all got at Bobby and Athena’s, but that’s not what worries Eddie. He knows Buck will come back; sooner or later, he’ll be back where he belongs.

What does worry him, is that Buck is not answering his phone.

Eddie doesn’t want to make a habit of entering Buck’s apartment without knocking, but in this case, something tells him Buck wouldn’t open the door if he knocked. So he let himself in with the spare key, prepared to deal with chaos he expects to find inside- but aside from a few empty take-out containers stacked atop each other on the counter and a single bottle of now undoubtedly warm beer next to them, there is really no chaos. Which is even more concerning.

“Buck,” he calls out, slowly climbing the stairs. Everything feels tense and still, like the situation is tangible in the air.

On the bed, there is a lump hidden beneath the sea of covers and pillows. A ridiculous amount of pillows that Eddie always finds annoyingly endearing.

The lump doesn’t move even as he stops at the side of the bed, knees touching the mattress, and he sighs.

“Get up,” he says and tugs off the covers.

His anxiety eases up a little as Buck groans, batting away at him. He squints at the onslaught of light and Eddie takes in the faint redness in his eyes, the way his shoulders are slumped.

“No,” Buck tells him and pulls the covers back over his head.

Eddie doesn’t want to get mad at him- Buck doesn’t deserve that- but frustration suddenly blooms in his chest and he rips the covers away. “Buck. Get up.”

Buck levels him with a mild glare, sleepy around the edges and desperate in the center. Any other time, he would probably give in- but he’s not here today so he could watch Buck wallow in self-pity.

“If you don’t get out of bed on your own, I’m gonna get you out myself,” he finds himself saying sharply.

Buck huffs and shoves his face back into the pillows, turning away from Eddie. It’s dismissive and petty and it rattles Eddie’s nerves. He’s never done well with fear and right now, he’s terrified that Buck’s just gonna sink further if he doesn’t yank him out of his misery. Nobody wants that, he least of all. So with his heart beating against his ribcage, he grits out, “I warned you,” and grabs Buck’s ankles.

He yanks and Buck yells, limbs flailing and scrabbling for purchase as Eddie drags him towards the foot of the bed.

“What the- Eddie, let go of me!” He’s kicking out with his feet, trying to dislodge Eddie’s grip, but Eddie doesn’t let go until his hips are on the edge of the bed- and even then, he lets go just so he can wrap his arms around Buck’s waist and chest and haul him to his feet.

“You’re gonna shower and you’re gonna stop moping,” he tells him.

Buck ignores him, trying to twist out of his grip and crawl back into his bed. He’s so stubborn and so fucking self-oriented it makes fire burst inside Eddie’s chest. If he lets Buck back into the bed, he’s never gonna get him out.

Eddie grits his teeth, his grip tightening along with his jaw, and spins them both away from the bed. Buck’s feet leave the ground for a few seconds, have him yelping in surprise, and Eddie is, in the back of his head, faintly reminded of the few rare occasions when Christopher feels like spending the whole day in bed and Eddie has to carry him out of it. There is a lot more giggling then, though, as compared to this situation.

“Eddie!” Buck yells. In the flurry of motions, Eddie can see how flushed he is- anger and extortion. He’s fighting against Eddie the whole way to the bathroom, trying to wrestle away and get back to his bed even though Eddie knows there’s no way he’s still sleepy- not after this wake-up call.

Eddie pulls out all the tricks as he pushes him through the door, fingers jabbing between his ribs and pinching lightly the strip of soft skin where his shirt has ridden up during the tousling. He twitches and struggles and yells all the way up until Eddie shoves him into the bathtub and turns on the faucet.

He lets out a shrill noise of surprise at the water that suddenly starts cascading over him and then deflates. The rigidity drains from his body, even as Eddie can feel the water is still cold from the few drops that land on his skin. He feels bad about it for all of a second because he knows that water will warm up significantly in no time- and then he takes in the defeated bow of Buck’s head, and the shuddering breath he exhales and realizes that Buck is crying.

It slices through him like a knife, sharp and burning.

“Hey, hey, Buck, it’s fine. It’s okay,” he says, stepping underneath the stream without really thinking about it, shoes and all. He’s soaked in seconds but it doesn’t matter as he pulls Buck into himself.

Buck resists a hand on the back of his neck for a beat and falls against him, sobs wracking his frame under Eddie’s hands. Eddie’s stupidly inept at saying what’s bothering him, or showing it, and sometimes…he forgets that Buck is not like that. He can’t put it aside and separate himself from the mess that is emotions like Eddie can.

Not that Eddie would want him to; that’s the beauty of him. He bleeds his feelings into everything and Eddie wouldn’t have it any other way.

“It’s not fine, I can’t- I need this job, Eddie,” Buck cries, face tucked into Eddie’s neck, hands digging desperately into his shoulder and back.

“You’re not gonna lose it, Buck,” he tells him. The water has finally warmed up, and it adds to the heat of their bodies. Still, Buck is shaking.

“I am. Shit just keeps on happening and I- I can’t spend my life stuck behind a fucking desk.”

Eddie never felt too strongly about any job he had before he joined 118, and if he loves it, he knows that Buck adores it. When Buck says “can’t” with so much desperation, Eddie knows he’s not overreacting; he can’t see Buck anywhere but by his side either, smiling, eyes lit up like stars and soot smeared on his cheeks.

He rubs his thumb over the base of Buck’s skull, moves to cup the back of his head when the gesture wrangles a new sob out of Buck’s chest. He’s clinging to Eddie like a lifeline, like his legs can’t hold him up, and Eddie wonders how he managed to fuck this up so bad. If he could, he’d tuck Buck inside his chest, absorb all of his hurt.

“Shh, I’m sorry, Buck. I’m sorry,” he mutters the words against his temple, lips brushing the skin. “Everything will be fine, you’ll come back to us, I promise you.”

He shouldn’t make that promise, he can’t possibly know, but Buck’s sobbing dies down a little and his desperate grapple at Eddie turns into a full-on hug. On an impulse, Eddie presses his lips against the side of his head, above his ear, in the lightest of kisses and envelopes him into his arms.

Buck makes a funny little noise against his neck, but he doesn’t freak out or pull away. He says, voice uneven from crying, “Thank you.”

Eddie can’t imagine what could he possibly be thanking him for, but he nods, rubs his hand over Buck’s back in a gesture that he’s not sure is meant to soothe him or Buck.

He’s not good with words, not when it really matters, but he’ll try for Buck.

He pulls back just enough that he can see Buck’s face, flushed and wet with his hair curling against his forehead. His eyes are puffy and red and glassy and he looks so painfully human that Eddie wants to kiss him until he runs out of air.

“Everyone misses you and everyone is waiting for you to come back because you belong with us. You’re not replaceable, Buck,” he’s taking stabs in the dark because he doesn’t know what exactly is bothering Buck this much.

Buck’s face pinches in pain, “You can’t wait forever. They won’t let me work like this,” he sweeps his eyes down the length of his body, “and the doctor said they still don’t know what caused the clots. I might never get off the blood thinners.”

Honestly, Eddie doesn’t want him anywhere near danger while he could bleed out from something as stupid as a paper cut- but keeping him away is not making him any favors. Buck needs the adrenaline and sense of purpose to live, probably as much as oxygen, and as much Eddie hates the idea of putting him in danger, he hates the hollow, faded version of Buck he could become without it even more.

“We’ll wait,” he tells him firmly, “and you will come back, blood thinners or not.”

Buck gets that soft, beautiful look on his face then, eyes staring at Eddie like he hung the goddamn moon in the sky just for him.

“Thank you,” he says again.

“Why?”

“Because you’re not trying to keep me away,” Buck explains with a small shrug.

Eddie huffs in surprise, “Trust me, I’d love to. But it’s not my decision. And I want you back at my side.”

Buck blinks, “You do?”

“Yeah,” and because he’s feeling bold, standing here in his wet socks inside Buck’s shower, with Buck looking at him like this, “there’s nobody I’d rather have watching my back.”

A noise part sob and part laugh escapes Buck. He swipes a hand under his nose, blinks the tears out of his eyes and Eddie’s heart stops when it seems like he’s gonna start crying again.

“Nobody I’d rather have watching my back either,” Buck says instead and leans in, firm flesh, warm skin, drumming heartbeat beneath Eddie’s fingers.

He’s everything that’s missing at the station, everything that Eddie is missing and everything no one could replace. Eddie feels affection tearing him at the seams, stunned that he has more of it to give to anyone but Christopher, in this measure, and kisses him.


End file.
